"I Want" Doesn't Get

When I was growing up, I was always told that it wasn’t polite to say, “I want”.

At Christmas and birthdays I was told it’s nicer to say “I would like” or “I wish for …”

Even in a sweet shop or out for a snack or treat, it had to be, “Please may I have…?”

But I’m a grown up now and I’m not going to be told what I can and can’t say.  It’s Friday, and I’m allowing myself to dream, so here’s my list of;

‘I WANTS’

I want my son to get excellent results in his GCSE’s next month.  With all that he’s been through to get to this point, I wish him success with all my heart (see 10 Jun post: School Refusal).  I want him to stay at the school he loves, with friends that he has grown close to, have fun doing A levels and turn in to a fine young man.

I want my mum to continue to live independently and to find something which makes her truly happy.  I want my mother-in-law to settle in a place she feels secure in and find the peace she’s looking for.

I want my husband to be able to see his family in Oz whenever he wants to.  No one’s getting any younger and thirteen years is too long for him to have not set foot in his country - the price he pays for falling for an English bird in a recession-hit economy!

I want a column working on a national newspaper or magazine (paid!).  I delight in writing my daily blog and being an Indie writer has been liberating and exciting but it would be good to know someone was prepared to take a chance on me - plus, there’s nothing like a deadline to work to!

I want to look like the twenty-five year old that I feel.  OK, it’s vain but my brain (and the way my body feels) doesn’t seem to have caught up with the fact that I’m forty-seven.  When do you start to feel like a grown up?

I want to get on a plane without feeling terrified.  Not a huge problem at the moment, as we have no cash to be flying off anywhere, but I don’t want to feel the way I do every time I fly.  I even have recurring dreams about it - not nice, especially when I’ve been through all the grief and still wake up in the morning not having left my bed!

I want to be able to sit through a film or a show without needing to pee!  No, it’s not a Tena Lady thing or a middle-age affliction - I’ve always had a weak bladder and it’s the bane of my life.  I’m not talking leakages here, just the urgent need to go.  You can keep your Botox and your face-lifts, if someone could give me the bladder of a horse, I’d be happy.  I can’t relax on any trip, outing or event until I know where the nearest loo is - boring!

I want a dog!  We owned our own (perfect) rescue dog for five rewarding years and when he went to doggy heaven, my heart .broke.  “No more dogs for me” I said, as I took to my bed for a few days.  So we now have two cats and run a dog minding agency in his memory from home (you can read his full story at Digs4Dogs).  We set up clients with suitable minders, so we don’t get to look after our own doggy guests. “Phew”, say the cats!  Well actually, they’re slightly ruder than that but they didn’t want me to print it.  The fact remains, I can’t go anywhere without talking to every dog I see.  A trip to the shops can take hours and I know when my much loved cats go to pussy heaven, after I’ve taken to my bed again, a (non-allergenic) dog will be back on the agenda for us.

I want to be able to give up smoking.  Yuck, it’s such a disgusting habit and I hate it.  I’m an addict, what can I say?

I want to win the lottery … then I could:

Fix my leaking roof - I quite like my house so wouldn’t necessarily move (and the road we live in is safe for cats!)

Pay the school fees without having to worry

Repay all the lovely people who have helped us in the past

Buy a car that doesn’t gobble petrol

Give serious thought to which charities I would work with

Have a holiday (travelling by plane?!)

Tell my hubbie to visit his family in Oz whenever he wanted (even for a weekend)

Empty and re-fill my wardrobe - but I would keep my 20’s flapper dress and a few other much-loved items.

Go to the theatre once a month (with my new bladder!)

Have (just one) pair of designer shoes (and possibly a bag but not at a ludicrous price)

Treat my mum

Help family and friends

The list is endless …

There, that’s the spoilt brat in me - why not unleash yours?

Diary of a Mummy Misfit is available at Amazon for Kindle.  Now also in paperback at Lulu.