Sunday, 7 August 2011

The Tao of Hubbie

Are you a glass half full or half empty sort of person?

Do you breeze through life, always looking for the bright side or are you a firm believer in doom and gloom?

I’m of the half empty variety but hubbie isn’t half full, he’s filled to the top and brimming over.

He can turn anything into a positive - and I mean anything.  Any hospital appointment would have me filled with fear and convinced I was going to be diagnosed terminally ill.  If hubbie has an appointment for a tube up, down or around any orifice he greets it head on with a smile and says “Hey, it’s a new experience!”

I guess that’s one of the things that makes us such a good match.  While I’m slowly dying of some weird and unnamed disease (regularly imagined) or panicking about the state of our bank account (always!), he brings me back to earth, calms me down and makes me see logic.  He says my epitaph should most definitely read ‘What if…?’ as it’s the phrase which leaves my mouth most regularly.

I wish I could be more like him in my way of thinking, and I do try to let it seep into my psyche but I’m not so sure you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Here’s what would be written on a leaflet promoting his life philosophy:

Change what you can, accept what you can’t.

There’s always something new and exciting to discover in any situation.  A boring walk to the shops might reveal something you’ve never seen before along the way, get you talking to someone interesting or stroking an unusual cat.  You just never know what’s around the corner.

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.  (OK pinched from John Lennon, but very true)

Get out of bed and sing.  It might irritate everyone else but, boy, will you feel good.

Give people the benefit of the doubt.  (Hubbie will never go looking for trouble and he’ll always give people chances to redeem themselves.  Pushed too far though and he’s a force to be reckoned with.)

Life is long.  While bitter experience has proven this is not always true, your attitude should be that there is always time to find resolution.

Always be open and honest - then you never have to worry about covering your tracks and being caught out.

Treat people the way you like to be treated and never compromise your own standards - even if someone else is playing dirty.

Don’t look to vices to deal with life’s problems - you’ll be increasingly less capable of dealing with the issues you were trying to overcome than you were the day before.

Worrying wastes energy and leaves you too exhausted to cope.

Encounter strangers as potential friends.  Remember, you didn’t always know your closest buddies.

Whenever possible, turn a negative into a positive.  If you don’t want to do something, make it fun.

Seek to make happiness a constant frame of mind.  Once you’re there it’s easy.

If we could bottle his positivity and sell it, we’d be millionaires.  I’ll just live in the hope that it’s contagious.  If we’re lucky enough to find ourselves approaching our twilight years together, I’ll live by his favourite mantra “You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever!”

You can buy my debut novel “Diary of a Mummy Misfit” on Amazon.  A tale of bitching, handbags and Botox.  For anyone who’s ever felt like they don’t belong.  Now also available in paperback at Lulu.


  1. Another brilliant blog post! And something that resonates deeply with me because I'm very much like you, whereas my husband is very much like yours - he's a very positive person, always sees the bright side, always looks at things in a completely different way to me and I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have him to make me realise the positive side of things I've often written off as pointless!
    A beautifully written, thought-provoking post. X

  2. Sounds like your husband and my husband are drinking from the same well! He, too, is the eternal optimist. What a way to be! I hope a little rubs off on me, but perhaps my greatest strength is my ability to find something to worry about!