When Mummy Met Jackie

I met a fab new Twitterer a few months back and we instantly hit it off.  Our love of musicals and our daft sense of humour united us and, before I knew it, she’d bought all of my books, left great reviews and done her utmost to spread the Mummy Misfit word.  We’re meeting up in September and today we spoke for the first time on the phone.

So @Jackie495 was the perfect choice when I decided I wanted some ‘off the wall’ questions for my blog.  Here we go, and huge thanks to Jackie:

Besides your hubby, who would be your next perfect dinner date and why?

Oh, such a tricky first question!  I’d love a date with Noel Coward (dead), Curtis Stigers (married), Julian Clary (gay), Geoffrey Palmer (too old), Ollie Murs (too young), Simon Cowell (too arrogant).  So I’ll stick with my lovely hubbie!

In your book, 'Diary of a Mummy Misfit’, you mention 'Pink Cocks' - short for cocktails - but would you ask a barman for one?

No!  I’m too nice to ask a barman for a pink cock.  That would be rude.  I’d ask for a ‘White Russian’ - lots of cream!

You're a huge fan of 'Absolutely Fabulous'.  Would you say you're more like Patsy or Edina?  And would you enjoy having their whacky lifestyle 24/7?

I’m definitely Patsy, Sweedie.  And you're my Eds, as you know!  The trouble is, I have two friends who could ‘out-Patsy’ me any day.  And, no, I couldn’t do the whacky lifestyle 24/7 - far too old and need my sleep.

Your followers on Twitter know that you're partial to a glass of wine .... or should that be a crate?!  But have you ever really lost your senses and done anything so silly that you've regretted it in the morning ... and can you share?

Sadly, I have no dirt to dish on ‘Mummy Misfit Misdemeanours’ because I’m a self-confessed control freak.  Yes, I like my tipple but I know when to stop.  I’d never allow booze to let me get in such a state that I’d embarrass myself.  Sorry!

If you could keep a farm animal in your back garden, what would it be, and why?

I LOVE goats.  Sadly my garden is way too small to accommodate one but it’s my dream to have a garden full of cats, dogs and goats.

Who or what inspires you?

Corny answer here, but it’s my husband.  He’s the most positive person I’ve ever met in my life.  After five years of unemployment he still starts every day with a song and a smile on his face.  He lifts me up when I’m down and I’m so grateful for every day we have together.  OK, fetch the puke bucket - but I think he’s the best.

You have a brilliant sense of humour Amanda.  If you had the chance to write a comedy script for TV, would you jump at the chance?

I’d love to write a script for TV and am still hoping that something will happen with the Misfit books.  I know for sure that ‘BOOK FOUR’ has the perfect part for Miranda Hart -so, who knows?

As you trained as an actress, would you consider playing a part from one of your own novels if it transferred to stage or screen?  If so, who would you play and why?

Although I’m very much Libby, I’d really enjoy playing the part of Fenella because she has no inhibitions and just says it as it is.  I wish I could be more like that - every day, I wish!

It's your wedding anniversary soon.  Will you be making puff balls for your party?

There won’t be a big party this year, so no puff balls.  But in 2014, we’ll have been married for 20 years and I’ll be 50 so that will be a big ‘Puff Ball Occasion’.  I hope you’ll be there Jackie, to share a pink cock or two?!

Do you think people come into our lives for a reason?

Yes, I like to think that people do, in the same way that people leave your life for a reason.

If a fireman ever asked you to hold his hose for him, would you?

Of course I would, it would be rude not to.  (titter, titter!)

Did you ever get expelled from school and, if so, why?

Nope, never got expelled because I was a ‘good girl’!  The head-mistress did send a letter home once, though, saying that I was on a warning as I’d been out of school to buy chips.  My dad just laughed and said that if that was the worst thing I ever did, she could get stuffed.  I loved my dad!

Do you think it's about time you gave up smoking, or do you want to be a fag hag forever?

Ah Jackie, I think you and I may have different interpretations about the meaning of the term ‘fag hag’.  A ‘fag hag’ to me is a lady who likes the company of homosexual gentlemen.  Which I do!  But yes, I smoke, so I am a bit of a hag and YES, OK I SHOULD GIVE UP!!!!!!

When you win the Euro Millions, what is the first thing you will buy and why?

A bottle of champagne to get over the shock - then pay off all our debts and sleep for a month on a desert island.

You write funny books, but do you read lots of humorous books yourself?

I love a book that gives me a chuckle - there’s so much misery in life, why not?

Who is your favourite author?

Ah, thanks Jackie, we end on another tricky one!  Here goes:  Lisa Jewell, Maeve Binchy, Penny Vincenzzi, Catherine Alliott, Jane Fallon, Jill Mansell, Annie Sanders, Jilly Cooper (in the old days), Veronica Henry, Sophie Kinsella and my lovely Indie friend, Michelle Betham.

Huge thanks to Jackie for such great questions at such short notice.  Anyone else want to hit me with some?  Let me know.

 NOW HEAD OFF AND CHECK OUT MY BOOKS ON AMAZON OR LULU - JACKIE SAYS SO!!!